No, it's not a joke. This is a test designed to help humanity cope with a serious problem, one that is becoming more of a concern every day: On the phone, over the Internet, and even in person, are you dealing with a human, a computer, a robot, or an alien?
And are you really a human, or have you been replaced by a robot, or even by an alien, without you knowing it? Has your brain been tampered with by aliens, or maybe by secret government agencies, so that you are no longer as human as you used to be?
Just how human are you? That is the question.
Designed by Dr. Robert Epstein, one of America's most distinguished research psychologists, this test will show you exactly how human you are.
Sure, you're thinking, "No sweat!" You're as human as apple pie, right? But this is a difficult test, full of subtleties designed to ferret out the hidden truth - to separate the men from the toys, so to speak. If you're willing to put your humanness to the test, get ready to rumble. And if you don't have the stomach - assuming, that is, that you even have a stomach - to find out that you're not as human as you thought you were - that chemicals in your food, invisible mind control devices, or an alien abduction that you can't even remember has taken away some of your humanness, too bad! Suck it up!
And if you are not a human, beware. You will fail this test, and we will find you and dissect or dismantle you, whichever seems more diabolical at the time.
Before we get to the test itself, we'll ask you a few basic questions about yourself. This information is being collected to enable us to improve future versions of the test. We're also just nosey. (It's a human thing.)*required response