Are You Ready for Love?
Epstein Love Competencies Inventory (ELCI) v. 1.3, © 2007-2014, Dr. Robert Epstein  

You are about to take the Epstein Love Competencies Inventory (or ELCI, which is pronounced like the name "Elsie"). Designed by Dr. Robert Epstein (follow on Twitter at @DrREpstein), one of America's most distinguished psychologists, this is a comprehensive inventory of a wide range of skills that are important to the survival and success of long-term romantic relationships. The content of the test is based on scientific studies, and the test has been empirically validated with a sample of more than 11,000 people in the U.S. and fifty other countries (Epstein & Smith, 2011).

Most people are able to complete the test in less than 10 minutes, and there are no right or wrong answers. Just select the response that seems best. After you answer all the questions, you'll be given a detailed report which will give you your scores and explain what they mean. This is just the start; once you know your "Elsie" scores, there are many avenues you might pursue to improve your relationship skills. The better your skills, the stronger your relationships are likely to be.

If you are conducting research and would like to collect raw data for a group that is taking this test - for a business, research study, classroom activity, or other purpose - please see our Group Testing Instructions

NEW! If you would like to see if someone you know is a good match for you, take Dr. Epstein's new test at http://AreWeGoodTogether.com.

Before we get to the inventory it self, we'll ask you a few basic questions about yourself. Demographic information is being collected for research purposes only and will be kept strictly confidential.

To make sure the scoring is accurate, be sure to fill in all the blanks!

*Required response


Group code (if applicable):


*First name and last initial:

*Your age:

*Highest Degree:
None
High School
Associates
College
Masters
Doctorate

*Race/Ethnicity:
White
Black
Hispanic
Asian
American Indian
Other

*Gender:
Male
Female
Other

*Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Gay or lesbian
Bisexual

*How fluent are you in English?
Not fluent   10  Very fluent

*Have you ever been married?
No  Yes

*Are you currently married?
No  Yes

*Are you currently in a romantic relationship?
No  Yes

*If you are currently married or in a romantic relationship, how long has it lasted?
Years:  Months:

*On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the highest, how satisfying has this relationship been for you?
Low   10  High

*If you are not currently in a romantic relationship, about how long has it been since your last one ended?
Years:  Months:

*On average, how long have your romantic relationships lasted?
Years:  Months:

*On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the highest, how satisfying have your romantic relationships been for you?
Low   10  High

*Have you had any counseling or coaching in relationship skills?
No  Yes

*If so, approximately how many hours of counseling or coaching have you had?


OPTIONAL: If a mental health professional suggested that you take this test, please identify him or her, as well as his or her institutional affiliation.


Okay, here is the test itself!


For each of the following questions, select the answer that best applies to you.


*1. I always know and try to respect my partner's basic views and values.
Agree             Disagree


*2. I always ask my partner how his or her day was.
Agree             Disagree


*3.I try to protect myself from stress before it starts.
Agree             Disagree


*4. I always know how to have a fun time with my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*5. I'm always ready to forgive my partner when he or she apologizes.
Agree             Disagree


*6. I have a thorough knowledge of my strengths and weaknesses.
Agree             Disagree


*7. I frequently visualize soothing scenes in order to relax.
Agree             Disagree


*8. I often ask for feedback from my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*9. I always try to keep myself physically attractive for my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*10. I know how to describe my feelings accurately.
Agree             Disagree


*11. I criticize my partner more than I praise him or her.
Agree             Disagree


*12. I exercise regularly and stay fit.
Agree             Disagree


*13. I always try to make time for friendly conversation with my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*14. I try to avoid destructive ways of dealing with stress.
Agree             Disagree


*15. I always know all about my partner's family.
Agree             Disagree


*16. I always know my partner's favorite pizza toppings.
Agree             Disagree


*17. I always stay focused on the issue at hand when arguing with my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*18. I have trouble making commitments.
Agree             Disagree


*19. I'm a good money manager.
Agree             Disagree


*20. I often hide my true thoughts when I speak to my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*21. I'm generally optimistic about the future.
Agree             Disagree


*22. I always know how to create a romantic evening for my partner and me.
Agree             Disagree


*23. I have trouble prioritizing.
Agree             Disagree


*24. I am comfortable asking others for help.
Agree             Disagree


*25. I regularly tense and relax my muscles as a way of relaxing.
Agree             Disagree


*26. I regularly ask my partner about his or her tastes, preferences, and passions.
Agree             Disagree


*27. I know how to make money grow.
Agree             Disagree


*28. When I think I might be wrong, I apologize.
Agree             Disagree


*29. I praise and encourage my partner far more often than I criticize him or her.
Agree             Disagree


*30. I frequently encourage my partner to express his or her views.
Agree             Disagree


*31. I sometimes try to diffuse conflict with humor.
Agree             Disagree


*32. I always try to be honest with my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*33. I know how to recognize and get rid of causes of stress.
Agree             Disagree


*34. I am comfortable talking about my feelings with my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*35. I have no trouble getting and keeping a job.
Agree             Disagree


*36. I regularly ask my partner for feedback on what pleases him or her sexually.
Agree             Disagree


*37. I consistently take good care of my health.
Agree             Disagree


*38. I always try to stay prepared for possible hard times.
Agree             Disagree


*39. I always remember my partner's birthday and other special days.
Agree             Disagree


*40. In a conflict, I work with my partner to try to attain both our goals.
Agree             Disagree


*41. I don't know how to manage money.
Agree             Disagree


*42. I always know what my partner's romantic and sexual fantasies are.
Agree             Disagree


*43. I am embarrassed to seek help when I have a sexual problem.
Agree             Disagree


*44. I always know what my partner's hopes and dreams are.
Agree             Disagree


*45. I try hard to succeed despite difficulties.
Agree             Disagree


*46. I frequently remind my partner about his or her past mistakes.
Agree             Disagree


*47. I always make time for sensual intimacy.
Agree             Disagree


*48. I earn enough money to contribute adequately to a relationship or marriage.
Agree             Disagree


*49. I always make good eye contact with my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*50. I often forget my partner's birthday or other special days.
Agree             Disagree


*51. I have a purpose in life.
Agree             Disagree


*52. I always have adequate insurance for me and those who depend on me.
Agree             Disagree


*53. I'm constantly seeking to become a better person.
Agree             Disagree


*54. I try to soothe and comfort my partner when he or she is hurting.
Agree             Disagree


*55. When sex doesn't go well, I avoid blaming myself or my partner.
Agree             Disagree


*56. I regularly take time to reflect on my dreams and aspirations.
Agree             Disagree


*57. I try to find positive ways of understanding disturbing events.
Agree             Disagree


*58. I have a good knowledge of what pleases me sexually.
Agree             Disagree


*59. I know how to manage my weight.
Agree             Disagree


*60. I make sure I regularly do things I love to do.
Agree             Disagree


*61. When intercourse with my partner is not possible, I try to find other ways for us to enjoy each other sexually.
Agree             Disagree


*62. I take timeouts from arguments when I need to.
Agree             Disagree


*63. In an argument, I try to interpret what my partner says in a way that won't hurt me.
Agree             Disagree


*64. I regularly examine and try to correct my irrational beliefs.
Agree             Disagree


*65. When my partner apologizes, I'm always open to forgiving him or her.
Agree             Disagree


*66. I listen and remember when my partner tells me about his or her problems.
Agree             Disagree


*67. I rarely ask my partner for feedback on what pleases him or her sexually.
Agree             Disagree


*68. I know how to identify and eliminate sources of stress.
Agree             Disagree


*69. During arguments, I usually hold fast to my positions.
Agree             Disagree


*70. I strive to overcome obstacles.
Agree             Disagree