You are about to take the Epstein Love Competencies Inventory (or ELCI, which is pronounced like the name "Elsie"). Designed by Dr. Robert Epstein (follow on Twitter at @DrREpstein), one of America's most distinguished psychologists, this is a comprehensive inventory of a wide range of skills that are important to the survival and success of long-term romantic relationships. The content of the test is based on scientific studies, and the test has been empirically validated with a sample of more than 25,000 people in the U.S. and 57 other countries (Epstein et al., 2016).
Most people are able to complete the test in less than 10 minutes, and there are no right or wrong answers. Just select the response that seems best. After you answer all the questions, you'll be given a detailed report which will give you your scores and explain what they mean. This is just the start; once you know your "Elsie" scores, there are many avenues you might pursue to improve your relationship skills. The better your skills, the stronger your relationships are likely to be.
If you are conducting research and would like to collect raw data for a group that is taking this test - for a business, research study, classroom activity, or other purpose - please see our Group Testing Instructions
Before we get to the inventory it self, we'll ask you a few basic questions about yourself. Demographic information is being collected for research purposes only and will be kept strictly confidential.
To make sure the scoring is accurate, be sure to fill in all the blanks!
*Required response
For each of the following questions, select the answer that best applies to you.
*1. I always know and try to respect my partner's basic views and values.
Agree
Disagree
*2. I always ask my partner how his or her day was.
Agree
Disagree
*3. I try to protect myself from stress before it starts.
Agree
Disagree
*4. I always know how to have a fun time with my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*5. I'm always ready to forgive my partner when he or she apologizes.
Agree
Disagree
*6. I have a thorough knowledge of my strengths and weaknesses.
Agree
Disagree
*7. I frequently visualize soothing scenes in order to relax.
Agree
Disagree
*8. I often ask for feedback from my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*9. I always try to keep myself physically attractive for my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*10. I know how to describe my feelings accurately.
Agree
Disagree
*11. I criticize my partner more than I praise him or her.
Agree
Disagree
*12. I exercise regularly and stay fit.
Agree
Disagree
*13. I always try to make time for friendly conversation with my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*14. I try to avoid destructive ways of dealing with stress.
Agree
Disagree
*15. I always know all about my partner's family.
Agree
Disagree
*16. I always know my partner's favorite pizza toppings.
Agree
Disagree
*17. I always stay focused on the issue at hand when arguing with my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*18. I have trouble making commitments.
Agree
Disagree
*19. I'm a good money manager.
Agree
Disagree
*20. I often hide my true thoughts when I speak to my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*21. I'm generally optimistic about the future.
Agree
Disagree
*22. I always know how to create a romantic evening for my partner and me.
Agree
Disagree
*23. I have trouble prioritizing.
Agree
Disagree
*24. I am comfortable asking others for help.
Agree
Disagree
*25. I regularly tense and relax my muscles as a way of relaxing.
Agree
Disagree
*26. I regularly ask my partner about his or her tastes, preferences, and passions.
Agree
Disagree
*27. I know how to make money grow.
Agree
Disagree
*28. When I think I might be wrong, I apologize.
Agree
Disagree
*29. I praise and encourage my partner far more often than I criticize him or her.
Agree
Disagree
*30. I frequently encourage my partner to express his or her views.
Agree
Disagree
*31. I sometimes try to diffuse conflict with humor.
Agree
Disagree
*32. I always try to be honest with my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*33. I know how to recognize and get rid of causes of stress.
Agree
Disagree
*34. I am comfortable talking about my feelings with my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*35. I have no trouble getting and keeping a job.
Agree
Disagree
*36. I regularly ask my partner for feedback on what pleases him or her sexually.
Agree
Disagree
*37. I consistently take good care of my health.
Agree
Disagree
*38. I always try to stay prepared for possible hard times.
Agree
Disagree
*39. I always remember my partner's birthday and other special days.
Agree
Disagree
*40. In a conflict, I work with my partner to try to attain both our goals.
Agree
Disagree
*41. I don't know how to manage money.
Agree
Disagree
*42. I always know what my partner's romantic and sexual fantasies are.
Agree
Disagree
*43. I am embarrassed to seek help when I have a sexual problem.
Agree
Disagree
*44. I always know what my partner's hopes and dreams are.
Agree
Disagree
*45. I try hard to succeed despite difficulties.
Agree
Disagree
*46. I frequently remind my partner about his or her past mistakes.
Agree
Disagree
*47. I always make time for sensual intimacy.
Agree
Disagree
*48. I earn enough money to contribute adequately to a relationship or marriage.
Agree
Disagree
*49. I always make good eye contact with my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*50. I often forget my partner's birthday or other special days.
Agree
Disagree
*51. I have a purpose in life.
Agree
Disagree
*52. I always have adequate insurance for me and those who depend on me.
Agree
Disagree
*53. I'm constantly seeking to become a better person.
Agree
Disagree
*54. I try to soothe and comfort my partner when he or she is hurting.
Agree
Disagree
*55. When sex doesn't go well, I avoid blaming myself or my partner.
Agree
Disagree
*56. I regularly take time to reflect on my dreams and aspirations.
Agree
Disagree
*57. I try to find positive ways of understanding disturbing events.
Agree
Disagree
*58. I have a good knowledge of what pleases me sexually.
Agree
Disagree
*59. I know how to manage my weight.
Agree
Disagree
*60. I make sure I regularly do things I love to do.
Agree
Disagree
*61. When intercourse with my partner is not possible, I try to find other ways for us to enjoy each other sexually.
Agree
Disagree
*62. I take timeouts from arguments when I need to.
Agree
Disagree
*63. In an argument, I try to interpret what my partner says in a way that won't hurt me.
Agree
Disagree
*64. I regularly examine and try to correct my irrational beliefs.
Agree
Disagree
*65. When my partner apologizes, I'm always open to forgiving him or her.
Agree
Disagree
*66. I listen and remember when my partner tells me about his or her problems.
Agree
Disagree
*67. I rarely ask my partner for feedback on what pleases him or her sexually.
Agree
Disagree
*68. I know how to identify and eliminate sources of stress.
Agree
Disagree
*69. During arguments, I usually hold fast to my positions.
Agree
Disagree
*70. I strive to overcome obstacles.
Agree
Disagree
